Archive for May, 2011
Meet Jill and Brian. They’ve been dating four years, they live together, and Jill just learned that Brian has had an affair.
It’s not the first time Brian has strayed, but Jill vows it will be the last. After the Pilates instructor, the old girlfriend, and now the frozen yogurt chef, enough is enough. Jill has given Brian two options. He can leave today and send for his things later. Or, they can get some couples therapy.
Jill remembers the Los Angeles marriage-counseling scene from when she was growing up in Southern California, when her parents’ marriage was generally in some perpetual state of self-imposed crisis. She has a positive view of counseling, if only because her parents are still together after 35 years.
Living up in the Bay Area now, as she pursues a doctoral degree at UC Berkeley, Jill is probably looking at some form of San Francisco couples therapy. She has no desire to see a psychiatrist or psychologist, too expensive, too clinical, but Jill does think it’s important she and Brian see some kind of certified Marriage and Family Therapist. For a time, she tried individual therapy at a school for therapists in training, and it was like getting haircuts at a barber’s college. The quality was not good.
Her greatest hopes are that she and Brian find a therapeutic environment where they can talk out their issues, sort their differences, and hopefully forge a stronger union. The man she loves is still there. This she knows.
Meet Jill and Brian. Now, they’re about to meet a whole new side of each other.
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There are lots of charities out there, and when I recently went looking for one to support I was overwhelmed by the different choices and opportunities available. In order to decide on the group that I would eventually help out, I set out to craft a list of the issues that were most important to me and narrow them down based on the criteria that was most important to me.
The first category that I was most interested in was helping fell under the children’s charities. Now this is a very busy area as well, there are charities to feed the children, teach them, protect them, etc. I soon realized that I would need to narrow things down some more.
The next set of criteria that I was interested in looking at was children that were the most desperate and most in need of assistance. This proved to be a tough thing to do as it is very hard to say one group of children is less needy than the next. But I had to figure out this in order to feel good about my contribution.
After all of my hard decisions I decided to work with a young man named Matt Dalio. Matt Dalio founded China Care, a foundation that works with orphans in China who require specialized medical care. What drew me to Matt Dalio and his foundation was the worthiness of the cause, and the dedication of his foundation to the cause. Unlike many charitable organizations where a large percentage of donations go to administrative costs, salaries, and special perks at fundraising events, Matt Dalio’s China Care Foundation puts nearly every dollar of donations straight towards aiding orphans with only the minimal required amount covering absolutely required administrative costs.